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The Bachelorette

The Bachelorette AU S1 Ep 10 FINALE

The Bachelorette AU S1 Ep 10 FINALE   Finale. Here we are. Can I say, once more: this is not right. We should be having overnights. We should be having a lot more time with these people. She should’ve spent the night with both guys by this point, so she knows how things roll in…

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The Bachelorette AU S1 Ep 9

The Bachelorette AU S1 Ep 9   Final three, and we know that unless something totally freaky happens, Richie is going home. That’s kind of OK – tonight is really to see if we can get any clues about tomorrow. Michael? Sasha? At this point I’m leaning heavily towards Michael. But if I’ve learnt anything…

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The Bachelorette AU S1 Ep 8

The Bachelorette AU S1 Ep 8   HOMETOWN DATES   Four bachelors left: Michael Footballer, Sash, Richie, Alex. Is it coincidence I’ve written them in that order? No. That’s the way they’re going to finish. Alex is going home tonight, then next week Richie, then in the finale, Sash will be left standing at the…

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The Bachelorette AU S1 Ep 7

The Bachelorette AU S1 Ep 7   At The Mansion the boys are mostly naked, they’re watching gladiator films and touching each other’s bottoms. Two of them are writhing around on the lawn when OSHER GUNSBERG appears. He has bad news: some of them will have to go on dates with a girl. The boys…

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The Bachelorette AU S1 Ep 6

The Bachelorette AU S1 Ep 6   OK let me be very clear about this: this is the night where something truly shocking happens. This is the night that will be remembered by Bachelor(ette) fans the world over.   I will tell it as honestly and as simply as I can.   Some background first:…

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The Bachelorette AU S1 Ep 5

The Bachelorette AU S1 Ep 5   LIMITLESS 8.40 SUNDAY SERIES PREMIERE that’s what’s splashed across the screen non-stop during tonight’s episode of The Bachelorette. Channel Ten is absolutely embracing the idea of fucking up whatever you’re watching with a watermark ad for some other program that you’re not watching. I don’t know how much…

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The Bachelorette S1 Ep4

The Bachelorette AU S1 Ep4 01.10.15   Alex Perry & Sam go on a one-on-one where they get to fly in vintage planes. The group date involves dodge-ball. This is what the spoiler tells me and I’m inclined to believe it. I hate the spoiler, it puts me in a bad mood for the next…

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The Bachelorette AU S1 Ep3

The Bachelorette AU ep 3 — 30.09.15   Teaser spoiler idiot-device Sash has a single date with Sam, they tango, maybe they pash. That’s about it. Sam tells him “you make me nervous” which she’s already told him a few times and as everyone knows it’s a line from one of my songs on the…

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The Bachelorette AU S1 Ep 2

The Bachelorette AU S1 Ep 2 ………… 24.9.15 This is the “Teaser,” complete with music and voice-over: Tonight, a bunch of guys (group date?) jump off a cliff and into a river; someone goes on a single date to the SCG and gets to face Doug Bollinger (Australian cricketer, fast bowler), then there is “a…

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The Bachelorette AU S1 Ep1

The Bachelorette recap Episode One —- 23 sept 2015 OK I wasn’t going to do this but people started asking. People started begging. I respond to begging, very occasionally. I respond much more quickly to people throwing shit-tons of money at me. Just so you know. Can I get paid for this? Please? If you’re…

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